I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
