you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
