lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
