took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
