I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
