i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
A+ Viking dick
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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