Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
