Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
