I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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