so explain again why im purple
no
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
