i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
