It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
