I just made out with a guy for $7.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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