Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
