I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
