it wasn't lemon gatorade
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
