1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
