I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
