Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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