Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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