...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
