Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
