you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
