im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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