exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I am one with the molecules
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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