you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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