Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
