Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
People in love make me want to vomit
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize