I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Mom said you looked used
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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