no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
