he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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