I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
