dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
