ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize