Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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