Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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