i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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