I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
