ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
