She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize