Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
