We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
