If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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