do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
