And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
