I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
