what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize