I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
