There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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