He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
