Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
