how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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