Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
