So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
