I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
