peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
