2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
