I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
