So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
