i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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